Time Is Not On My Side
by TranceGemini613
Summary: Ever wonder what would happen if the TARDIS landed on the Enterprise-D? The Doctor and Donna find themselves onboard as the Enterprise is intercepted on its way to a space station for basic maintenance. Hijinks ensue, none of them wacky. R&R please!Enjoy
1. Chapter 1

Time Is Not On My Side

A Star Trek: TNG/Dr Who (10th) crossover fanfic. (I hate you, Ben.)

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Obv I don't own these characters, Paramount and the BBC do, but I like to take 'em out to play once in a while. My profound eternal love and thanks to Russell T Davies and Gene Roddenberry for inventing these worlds and characters.

Summary: Ever wonder what would happen if the TARDIS landed on the _Enterprise_-D? The Doctor and Donna find themselves onboard as the Enterprise docks at a space station. Hijinks ensue, none of them wacky.

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**NEW A/N, please read!: Finals are over and so are the holidays! Expect an update from me at some point this week. That will be Chapter 3. The positive reviews are great, thanks so much for reading everyone! And...Happy New Year! ^^  
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The dashing young man in the sport jacket, slacks and Converse low-tops flipped a switch. The red-headed woman gasped in delight at the scene that burst onto the viewer-screen in the TARDIS' center console.

"What--what is it, Doctor? It looks like San Francisco in the US," she commented.

"That it is, Donna Noble, but it's San Francisco in a world ever so slightly different from yours--and about three hundred and fifty years in your future, give or take."

"Three hundred fifty years! Ooh, Doctor, this...traveling with you, I mean...it never gets old."

The Doctor grinned at her enthusiasm and stepped around the console to press a button, pull a lever, throw a switch and generally act like a rhesus monkey on crack cocaine--standard operating procedure for "driving" the TARDIS, his time-and-space traveling machine (Time And Relative Dimension In Space).

"We should touch down there by Starfleet Headquarters--and of course, the related Academy--in just a mo--"

A resounding CRASH, somewhat synonymous with a planned trip in the TARDIS, resounded throughout the control room.

"Have we hit something again?" asked Donna, more intrigued than irritated.

"Seems like it," replied the Doctor, circling the console like a hyperactive grasshopper, checking a gauge here and a thermostat there. "I see the problem now--we got in the way of a ship's warp drive. See, when the ships go to warp--that's faster-than-light travel, which is, by the by, possible, and common in this day and age--they have to be a certain distance from a planet or else the planet's gravitational pull--well, it's all very technical and the point is, we're going to be somewhere aboard a Starfleet vessel, I wager, once we get out of the TARDIS."

"Starfleet?" she queried, grabbing her jacket from where it hung and following him to the door as soon as he finished his cursory check of the TARDIS' systems.

"Yeah," he answered, leaning his head outside the vessel. "They're protectors and diplomats for the Federation. That's something like your Earth's United Nations, only for alien races and species from outside the Earth. Headquarters is in San Francisco in what was California. Time Lords know about this Earth but, well, dunno why, really, but none of us ever bothered to come here much. The human race sorts itself out, here, and I never saw fit to get involved. Not yet, anyway," he finished with a grin. By this time they were halfway across what looked like a cargo hold, a vast, cavernous room with bright halogen lighting and silver-gray wall paneling. A clearly-marked sliding door stood only a few more steps' walk in front of the pair.

This sliding door slid open.

Standing behind it was an imposing-looking man in a yellow uniform, carrying a weapon that looked like a laser-gun. Next to and behind him stood two women and another man, all much smaller than he. It was clear that the leading man was not human.

Donna stopped short in her tracks, but the Doctor took two more steps and then stopped, casually, as if waiting at a bus stop, and chirped, "Hullo!"

"Identify yourselves," commanded the large man. He had deep ridges on his forehead and reddish-brown skin, and an impressive braid of shining black hair. His bearing and appearance put Donna in mind of portraits she had seen of Native North American warriors of old--only with forehead ridges.

"I'm the Doctor, and this here is Donna," the Doctor said amiably. "And you are?"

Without relaxing his guard, but with a less stern tone of voice, the ridged man answered, "I'm Lieutenant Worf. How did you come to be aboard the _Enterprise_?"

"Oh, so this is the _Enterprise_!" From his tone, one might think the Doctor delighted to discover a favorite sweet in his pocket.

Lieutenant Worf raised an eyebrow, which disappeared into the ridges. "It is, Federation Starship _Enterprise_, NCC-1701-D. What," he indicated the TARDIS, "is that, and again, how did you come to be aboard the _Enterprise_?"

The Doctor wasn't listening to Worf, however; he was busily explaining Federation history to a rapt Donna. "Y'see, the _Enterprise_ is very well-known for being a...well, an enterprising vessel, no pun intended of course! The captain even had a battle maneuver named after him, oh, it was quite spectacular! You see--"

"Doctor," the security officer broke in, clearly becoming annoyed at being ignored.

"Oh, right, then. Uhm, well, we're travelers, Donna and I, and we've gotten a bit off-course. We mean no harm, just visiting about in the, erm, the...Alpha Quadrant, yeah, that's right! This is the Alpha Quadrant, isn't it?"

"It is."

"Yeah, our ship got caught in your, uhm, what's-it-called, warp thingamajiggity--"

"Warp signature?"

"Yeah, that...thing...and well, anyway, warp interferes with the operation of my ship's navigational...thingity, and so we found ourselves in here. But now that we are here, why don't we make friends and stay a bit, mm? I know this is a diplomatic vessel, isn't it?"

Worf was clearly confounded as to how the Doctor seemed to know so much about the _Enterprise_, the Alpha Quadrant, and the operation of a warp drive without knowing what is a warp signature. His cool composure unshaken, though, Worf took his hand off of his phaser and turned to his companions.

"We'll take them to the Captain. They aren't a threat." The three other security officers nodded assent and motioned the Doctor and Donna to follow. As they headed out of the cargo bay, the Doctor's voice carried over his shoulder.

"This is the _Enterprise_-D, then, yeah? That means Captain John Picard?"

Miffed, as the door slid shut, Worf snorted as he corrected, "That's Jean-Luc Picard. A fine man. Good captain. Heart like a Klingon warrior."

Donna's voice was the final comment on that: "Klingon??"

The Bridge of the Starship _Enterprise_

"Mister Data, ETA for the Benarin Space Station?" The Captain's voice was strong and sure, and all of the bridge officers were on alert when he spoke, even if they didn't look up from their own workstations.

An eerily pale man with golden eyes did look up, however, as he was the officer being addressed. "One day, fourteen hours on impulse power, Captain," he replied crisply. Captain Picard nodded.

"Thank you, Mr Data. All right, I'll be in my Ready Room. Number One," he directed at a broad-chested man with a neatly-trimmed beard, "you have the bridge."

"Number One" nodded. "Aye, Captain."

As Jean-Luc Picard turned away from the Captain's chair, however, his comm unit beeped.

"Captain," came Worf's voice, "I have apprehended the intruders in Cargo Bay four. They are neither armed nor, apparently, dangerous."

"Very well, Mister Worf," answered the Captain, "Bring them to my Ready Room."

"Aye, Captain," Worf answered.

Within moments, the Klingon security chief herded the Doctor and Donna into Captain Picard's presence. He looked them over, coolly appraising their dress and scrutinizing their faces.

"I should say 'Welcome aboard the _Enterprise_', however, most of my guests ask permission to board my ship," the Captain said. Though his tone was light, the time travelers heard the backbone of steel in him. The Doctor could sense his limits already, and knew better than to mock the Captain. Here was a man with whom no one tangled for fun.

"Terribly sorry to arrive so rudely," the Doctor said sincerely. "A bit belated, I'd request permission to board, but we're already here, so why quibble?" The Captain nodded.

"What brings you to the Alpha Quadrant, then? And how did your ship manage to get aboard mine? We didn't detect any of the cargo bay doors opening since we left Earth's orbit, and that was six hours ago. No foreign life forms on the ship, and no one mentioned any stowaways."

"Well yeah, y'see..." The Doctor considered a moment, and then indicated the chair facing the Captain's desk. "May we sit?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, do have a seat," Captain Picard replied, the overhead lights barely glinting off his smooth-shaven head. In fact, upon taking command of the ship, Picard had the office redone so that the overhead lighting fixtures were too muted to make a great reflection on his pate--by his logic, it is difficult to take one's captain seriously when said captain glows like a buoy every time he leans forward.

Donna and the chipper Time Lord seated themselves. Worf hovered near the door, keeping a hawkish eye on the pair.

"So as I was saying, we're travelers. We travel through space and time, helping here and there, interfering in other people's lives," the Doctor said. Honesty, he reasoned, is always the best policy; and for some reason, he trusted this Captain. Perhaps it was simply Picard's demeanor, or the history lessons that the Doctor vaguely remembered regarding the evolution of the United Federation of Planets. Perhaps it was because the Doctor planned on having a bit of fun in this plane. Any which way, he decided to just tell the truth.

Captain Picard raised an eyebrow. "Perfected time travel? Risk-free, as it were?"

"No," answered the Doctor.

"There are always risks," Donna piped up, and the Doctor nodded.

"The travel itself is relatively safe, at least, compared to the primitive form you people have nowadays."

The Captain considered bristling at the intimation of barbarism with the Doctor's use of the word "primitive", but instead lowered his eyebrow and leaned back, forming a tent with his hands.

"I see."

"It's true," Donna said. Up until that point, except for a few scattered exclamations, she had been quiet, which was out of character for her.

"And you are?" Picard addressed her finally.

"Oh, we've been rude, haven't we? I'm Donna Noble, and this is the Doctor," she said.

Captain Picard inclined his head towards them. "In case you hadn't figured it out, I am Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Federation Starship _Enterprise_. Welcome aboard, Donna Noble and the Doctor. I think we can learn a lot from each other."

The Doctor grinned his ever-spunky grin and sat up straight. "So we're allowed to stay on a bit, then?" he asked eagerly.

Captain Picard tried hard to look stern but failed in the face of the Doctor's boyish sparkle. "I suppose so, yes. But don't forget, I have a very capable security team. Now...would you like the tour of the ship?"

"Oh, yes please!" Donna exclaimed, and the Captain allowed himself a smile in her direction.

"Well then, Mister Worf, if you've nothing more exciting on your daily itinerary..."

Worf tried not to look horrified. A delightfully cheery and cheeky Time Lord was certainly not his idea of a fun guest. "Of course Captain."

The Doctor turned to beam at Lieutenant Worf. "Won't we have a grand time!" Clapping the Klingon on the shoulder jovially, the Doctor headed out, followed by Donna. Worf turned to give a final, pleading look to the Captain.

"Oh, now, Mister Worf, don't look so down. I have a feeling this Doctor has secrets we want to know."

"Aye, Captain..." he answered, still looking less than thrilled.

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Hope you enjoyed, concrit loved and welcomed of course!


	2. Chapter 2

****** The Holodeck ******

"This is just peachy!" Donna exclaimed, delighted, as the landscape behind her changed from that of a green woodland to a sandy, sunny beach-scape. To her left stood a large umbrella, impaled in the sand, under which a long, striped towel sat, lonely in the shade. A moment elapsed before Donna realized that her sweater and slacks had transformed as well, into a somewhat conservative bathing suit and see-through wrap.

Worf nodded slowly.

"And—you can make it **anywhere you want**?" she asked him. Again, he nodded.

"This is…_fantastic_!" Donna enthused, and the Doctor laughed.

"Perhaps once we're finished with the tour, Donna here could spend some time on the beach, eh, Lieutenant?" the Doctor asked. Worf acquiesced and they continued on to Ten Forward, the ship's bar and lounge.

In the lift on the way up, Donna asked, "What sort of alcohol do they serve here? I mean, not that I'm going to have a drink…but _if_ I wanted to?"

"It is synthehol. Regulations. You can ask Guinan for more information."

"I'm sorry," interjected the Doctor, "but did you say _Guinan_?"

"Yes," answered Worf.

The Doctor raised an eyebrow. "Sounds like an El-Aurian name to me. The Listeners."

"Perhaps. I do not know."

"This Worf fellow," said the Doctor in an aside to Donna, "is the strong, silent type, I see." Donna covered a giggle.

Within a few moments, the Holodeck and the lounge being located nearly opposite one another on Deck 10, the trio had reached the door of Ten Forward, where a woman in a towering headpiece and a long robe greeted them.

"Doctor." Her voice was silky smooth and she spoke as if the Doctor was a long-awaited friend arriving home.

"Guinan--it is you! Oh, I haven't seen you in _ages!_" The Doctor grabbed the woman and hugged her.

"Oi! Awright," Donna interjected, more bemused than annoyed, "'Oo's she, then, an' what's with the family reunion?" Worf looked puzzled as well, and his left eyebrow flirted with the ridges on his forehead.

"Donna Noble, this is Guinan. She's one of the last of the El-Aurian race. Guinan, Donna Noble, my traveling companion."

Guinan extended a hand to shake Donna's, already outstretched, and the redhead perked up a bit. "How do you know our Doctor, then?" she demanded, then amended her rough words, "He knows everyone!"

The barkeep chuckled richly. "Why don't the two of you come in and get acquainted? Lieutenant, will you join us?" she asked Worf.

"I...am supposed to be..._escorting_ the Doctor," he answered warily.

"I've got 'em, Lieutenant. He's not dangerous and he's not going anywhere. You can tell Captain Picard that this man will be my personal guest, if you don't mind. Are you on duty now?"

Worf looked slightly taken aback at this dismissal but nodded in minor defeat. "I will return to the Bridge and give the Captain your message."

"Thanks a lot, Lieutenant," Guinan said gently. She was a soothing person by nature, but there was something almost uncanny about her talent in mediating others' disagreements. The ship's counselor, Deanna Troi, was a member of the Betazoid race: empaths who were adept at helping others based on the emotions they saw in others' minds. Guinan had no such telepathy; the El-Aurian were Listeners, and while the nature of her race was never truly made clear to the rest of her peers on the crew, it was well known that, like any good bartender, she possessed an ability to tell when a body needed to talk and to coax a body to do just that. Within minutes of meeting her, many a tough nut cracked its shell and spilled its innermost secrets to her ready ear.

Donna, meanwhile, had stepped into the bar and was gabbling away without a care in the world. "...and that's...is that a beer tap? Is it Earth beer? I haven't had a good lager since...well, since I started out with the Doctor, I don't think...oh my God, is that a real...whaddayacallit...nebula? Granddad was always nuts about those, just daft for 'em...I seen some nice pictures though, so maybe 'e's a point there...oh my...G...od...Doctor, _Doctor_, didja _see_ that? A comet just went flying past! We're in the middle of nowhere and a _comet_ just whizzed by our heads!"

Guinan chuckled at the younger woman's overwhelming enthusiasm. "Donna, I do happen to have a very good dark lager here. I'm told it's from Ireland. Do you like Irish lager?"

In a flash of red, Donna did a comical double-take. "_Do_ I?! Like to die 'a' thirst flyin' about in the blue box with just this one...apparently Space Men don't drink lager, or if they do, I haven't heard of it." Guinan laughed again. Clearly the two women were to become fast friends.

The Doctor, meanwhile, had been staring out the port side windows, gazing into a blazing blue-green nebula with a concentrated look on his face, hands clasped customarily behind his back. Abruptly he turned to Donna. "Did you happen to notice the readings on the TARDIS' home-screen before we landed here?"

She looked at him, puzzled. "Even if I did seem 'em, I couldn't make heads nor tails of what they meant. I don't understand the half of what goes on in that thing."

Without missing a beat he turned to the mahogany-skinned woman, her amethyst-purple robes swirling about her as she moved to pour Donna's drink. "Where's the _Enterprise_ headed, Guinan? Do you know?"

"Yyyep! We're getting some good old-fashioned R&R, Doctor. Five days on a space station. It's not one of the big ones with casinos and bars galore, but it's got a few attractions. I'm looking forward to picking up some more of the popular ales and wines we carry here. Federation regulations say we're only supposed to carry synthehol, but I have a stock for those who can't abide that stuff. I hardly drink it myself, except to keep up appearances."

"Ahh, the ever-classic 'do as I say, not as I do', then? Good to know."

She made a face. "Have you ever tried synthehol? It's supposed to taste just like the real thing but it sure doesn't. Anyway, why are you so concerned about where we're headed, Doctor? I know you didn't come here intentionally."

Donna leaned over, a bit of foam on her upper lip. "How do you know so much about the Doctor? How'd you know, for instance, that we aren't here on purpose?"

Another laugh bubbled out of Guinan's throat. "Honey, I know that ol' blue police box doesn't go anywhere the Doctor's intending it to go. Thing's got a mind of its own. Always has. You know, when I first met your Doctor, he was a completely different person? Blond hair, traveled with a surly ginger-headed boy named Turlough."

Donna gaped. "You knew him in a different...er...reincarnation?"

"Regeneration," the Doctor broke in to correct, then fell silent to let Guinan tell the story.

"Yep, sure did. I was living in the old United States in the South. I was friends with an author of the time--you might know the name, Samuel Clemens--and the Doctor put in an appearance at a dinner party Sam threw. Of course, things couldn't be calm and quiet with those two around, and one of the household servants came out as a member of an alien race who were trying to colonize Earth. The Doctor, Turlough and I managed to trap him and neutralize the threat, as the Federation would phrase it nowadays--we threw 'em down a well. The worst was trying to explain what happened when they left--I had to convince all of the dinner guests, and Sam himself, that they were suffering a mass delusion brought on by food poisoning, and that the culprit was the deposed servant, and that I'd sent him home to his family in Missouri in disgrace once I found out, as I was the only person who hadn't eaten the crayfish. I tell you, I never want to have to do that again!"

Just as Donna began her usual barrage of questions following the story's conclusion, the door of Ten Forward slid open with a hiss and in stepped Number One, the Captain's first mate--Commander William Riker--and ship's counselor Deanna Troi.

Troi looked directly at the Doctor, her greeting for Guinan dying on her lips.

"What..._are_ you?" she asked, none too kindly. Her fists clenched and she gritted her teeth a little. The Doctor's eyes narrowed. It was clear that a battle of wills was happening, and the prize was the privacy of the other's mind.


	3. Chapter 3

THIS IS NOT A NEW CHAPTER

I'm sorry for the "fake-out" chapter, I know it's frowned-upon. I also want to apologize for my long absence. This story is NOT abandoned! I've just had a LOT of real-life interference the last year and a half, most pressingly my classes—as a lit major, most of my schoolwork involves writing, so I'm sort of out of steam by the time I do come by some free time. That said, I've got another chapter that should be up within a few days, and my goal (however unlikely, but I'll try!) is to upload a chapter a week if at all possible.

Again, I'm sorry, and thank you all for reading, reviewing, and loving—and most of all, for being PATIENT. You're fantastic! 3


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